1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
