It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
