So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
