upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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