thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Someone shit on the floor
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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