so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
