taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
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But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
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Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize