PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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