i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
