Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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