You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
