i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize