checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
