oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
