Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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