Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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