i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
