omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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