Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
