Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
