My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
