just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
