a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
