He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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