seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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