She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize