idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
