At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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