I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
