I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
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This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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