How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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