I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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