Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
