To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
