Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
