I just made out with a guy for $7.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
How external is "for external use only"?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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