Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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