before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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