The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
