She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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