worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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