I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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