She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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