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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Perfect. Like where your heads at

  (906): View more from Michigan

  By relax I mean have sex

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.

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• (909): View more from California

  Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  It's still 8am.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?

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