I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
