She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
