oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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