The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
