She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
