You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
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So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
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I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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