I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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