Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
