yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.