I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
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we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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