Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another