that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize