I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
