just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house