Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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