i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?