dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?