dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it