Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
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You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
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The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.