I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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